


I Love Your Rough Edges And Soft Parts That Bleed (I Choose Solitude Over Cold Kisses)

by Iamasortofvillain



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamasortofvillain/pseuds/Iamasortofvillain
Summary: The light paling to all truth: I miss the end of dreams and ink-smudged maps with fragile, brittle bones and I will go traveling alive, still worth saving.OR:Ellie goes back to Jackson and Dina is too happy not to take her backalso, there is shower sex.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	I Love Your Rough Edges And Soft Parts That Bleed (I Choose Solitude Over Cold Kisses)

**Author's Note:**

> "A girl is an abyss  
> a knife still wet with murder  
> no angels left in her  
> don’t you accept that bloodied hand"
> 
> Arlen c. | blackout poem exchange with a. Cho

You slide the door open. You can see Dina's silhouette behind the shower curtain and you lick your lips and step closer.

You are not wearing anything so you pull the curtain aside and step into the tub. You wrap your arms around Dina's waist and press your whole front against her back.

A delightful shiver runs down her spine when your nipples brush against her wet skin and she hums, reaches back one hand, and tangles her fingers in your hair, pulling your mouth to her neck.

"You should have told me JJ will spend the day with his grandma," you murmur and your fingers splayed on her stomach, running over her abs, brushing under her breasts.  
Dina turns in your arms, wraps her hands around your neck, and grins.

"You were so busy with the fence, it was criminal to disturb you".

"Criminal," you try to sound offended but she's blissfully naked and pressed against you and it's hard to concentrate on anything other than her hot hot wet skin against your rousing flesh.

"I don't – "

She covers your mouth with her hand and you raise your eyebrows and mumble something behind her palm. She drops her head to your collarbone and inhales sharply. You can smell her shampoo and shower gel and it's so good to have her in your arms, so close with no barrier separating you.

You push her backward until you both under the warm spray of water, and a delighted moan leaves your mouth when she begins to run her hands on her back, digging her nails in your skin and scratching you, soothing your sore muscles with experienced fingers.

"You like it." She teases and her lips graze over your skin. She leans to bite your breast where your heart is beating fast and you moan again, for a very different reason.

Your hands are roaming over every patch of naked skin they can reach and you kiss Dina, hot and wanting and young, lick your way into her mouth, down her throat, between her breasts. You take her nipple into your mouth and begin to suck.

Dina's groan echoes through the shower stall and you grin against her skin because you're the reason she's making those noises and it's not the first time, not even the tenth time, but you can't get enough.

One of her hands thread through your wet hair and the other grabs your hip and guides it between her legs.

Dina is impatient and you don't complain. You need her to want you so desperately.

You look at the way she closes her eyes and arches her back and bit into her lower lip. You watch as she pushes her breasts more firmly against you and licks her lips. You look as she starts moving, full of intention, and want.

Your mouth goes dry.

"Fuck, Ellie." Her head falls back against the tiles, baring her throat and you are hypnotized by the lines and curves in her neck and jaw. You suck the water from her skin. From the base of her throat and her collarbones and her pulse point and you slip your finger inside of her.

"Ellie!"

Her hips move forward in rhythm with your slow thrust, her fingers grabbing your hair almost painfully and you almost choke with want when you hear the low gasps close to your ear.

All the sensations of being with Dina shoot a wave of arousal through your body and you groan against her neck when she breathes one word.

"More".

You lean back and watch your hand between her legs and you add another finger. Her muscles clench around you.

Dina is watching you with dark hungry lustful eyes.

You lean in and kiss her, hard and wanting and strong. You kiss her stupid.

When you move your tongue against her you feel her moving faster against your hand, grinding into your palm with every drop of her hips. You move your thigh between hers, aiding your thrust and giving her more friction.

Her arms loop around your neck and you try to keep kissing her but with every motion of your fingers against her she pants and moans and you can't keep kissing her, so you leave your mouth lingering over hers and watch her as you fuck her.

She's so beautiful. Wet hair stick to her forehead, her dark eyes squeezed shut and a blush is spreading on her face. She bites hard on her bottom lip and you watch her you watch her you watch her.

"Ellie," she says. "Ellie."

You roll your hips and curl your fingers and with a low moan of your name she comes, thighs trembling and tight heat melting around your pumping fingers.

You let her ride out her high and then you capture her lips in a heated kiss. Her tongue moves lazy against your but she bites down on your lower lip and grins against your mouth and suddenly you are backed up against the tiled wall.

"Dina – "

"Shh. Let me." She says and her hand curl around the back of your thigh. She presses her front against you and start sucking on your skin.

"Slowly, slowly," she sing-songs into your ear and you drag your fingernails over her shoulders and smile when she hisses against the base of your throat.

"Dina, come on, just – "

You rock into her, moan her name and she pants against you. She lowers her head and sucks on your nipples, leaving marks on your skin. Your legs fall apart when she drops to her knees and your breath catches in your throat.

You make a strangled sound when warm breath puffs against your core.

"Ellie," Dina says and her voice is low and raspy and you are having trouble staying upright. "Look at me. Don't take your eyes off me".

And she leans down and dips her tongue between your legs.

You are panting and writhing under her mouth. The groan that leaves your throat can probably be heard all the way to Jackson and you can't keep your hips still.

Your hands fly into Dina's hair, urging her on, anchoring yourself, wanting to drown in her.

She replaces her tongue with her fingers and rubs your clit and when she thurst into you, you see stars, suns, and galaxies explode behind your eyelids and it's perfect.

It's perfect.

//

When you leave you don't look back.

You can't.

You can't.

//

You run and it's a strange sensation, to run towards something rather than from something.

You hear leaves and branches and twigs crack and snap and crunch in the underbrush as you run. Your body is hot and aching and your wounds are bleeding, but it's nothing you can't take so you don't stop.

Your feet push the soft, earthy forest floor and you focus your eyes on what's in front of you and you run, not caring what's lurking in the shadows, ready to fight.

You're not trying to be quiet, you're just running. The backpack and the weapons are heavy on your back and shoulders and the straps dig into your skin, leaving burn marks.

The wind ruffles through your messy hair, through the treetops and birds, are singing. There isn't any infected insight and somewhere nearby there is a whispering stream you can hear but cannot see and you don't care you don't care you don't care.

Your heart isn't heavy and the pain is superficial. Cuts and wounds are nothing you can't endure so your run.

You shift fast on your clumsy feet, you jump and climb and fall and get up. You run and you run and you run.

//

Everything hurts. Your palm and your missing fingers and you side and your right shoulder, where the rifle was resting badly and you took the shot anyway.

There is a constant nagging ache at your neck, you limp a little and you can't tell if the ringing is a new quality to Jackson or just your damaged ear.

Tommy has trouble looking you in the eyes and you find you don't want him to. Maria has a stern look on her face when she sees you and you nod, ones, too tired to talk. You're filthy and exhausted and everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts.

You don't know how long has it been since you've seen Dina but you miss her terribly. It's been seven weeks since you let Abby go. It's been seven weeks since you decided to go back. It's been seven weeks since you almost killed a human being with your bare hands.

Maria leads you to Joel's old house. She's talking about something you can't quite catch and she runs you a bath and makes you burn your dirty clothes. She doesn't care you stay quiet the whole time and when she puts you to sleep in Joel's bed, she sits next to you, soothing and solid and breathing, while you drift in and out of sleep, trying to ban all your horrible memories and Dina's eyes from your jumbled mind.

The next day you join the patrol and it surprises everyone, you most of all, but the group just nods their head and Tommy approaches you and walks the path next to you in silence.

It takes two weeks for you to take Maria's advice and seek Dina. Jackson is insane and you are kept busy enough not to think about the future. Tommy does his best and worst to keep you distracted and most of the time you are involved in something physical or lying on your back in the clinic, having your wounds checked and your bones set and your two missing fingers poked and cut and wrapped, stinging and aching and distracting.

You are nervous every time you cross a street or turn a corner or open a door. Your hands are shaking, your body is covered with cold sweat and there is a hole in the middle of your chest, where your heart should be.

You want to see Dina. You want to hold JJ. You are scared out of your mind.

You meet Dina on her front porch, at the edge of the town. Maria told you where she's staying and you mustered enough courage to check the place.

It's the middle of the day and you hoped she is too busy to lounge around, but she's sitting there, in the shadows, sweaty and smiling and cooing, JJ at her feet playing with some wooden toy you don't recognize.

Your whole body is shaking when she raises her eyes and her tired beautiful sinful eyes meet yours.

The smile melts from her face. You are so relieved and so confused and so happy and so scared, you almost sink to the ground.

And just like this, you are standing in front of Dina, alone and with nothing in your hands to keep your occupied.

Dina gets up. Slowly slowly slowly she makes her way down the wooden stairs, to the street. JJ doesn't turn. He's too busy playing with his wooden figures to feel the change in the air.

You sit down, carefully sink to your knees in the middle of the road.

Dina is right next to you, her hands on your shoulders, squeezing. She sits down next to your, more of a slumber than anything, and you bury your nose in her neck, relishing in her scent, still, something you recognize after weeks apart.

You take in the smell of flowers and earth and something darker, wilder tone of human flesh and heated skit. She stretches, puts her arms around you and you feel tears slide down your cheeks because she is here and alive and breathing and you sob and sob and sob in her arms.

Dina just sits there, holding you. You don't know how long you two just sit there, on the hot ground. Then she shifts a little and you throw your arms around her.

Your whole body is trembling and she sobs into your neck and you wrap your hands around her waist and you can't let her go again.

Dina nuzzles your cheek with her own and kisses you tears away and for a moment you just lean back and stare at her and everything is right again.

"Dina, I'm – I don't… I'm so – "

But she just shakes her head to stop you and she has a sad sad sad smile on her lips.

You wait for her to stand and leave, but she just leans in and kisses you softly. She's cupping your cheeks in her hands (rough rough familiar hands) and graze your skin with her fingernails.

She breaks the kiss and you rest your forehead against hers, touching and breathing and panting and crying and you can still taste her on your lips and you don't know if you deserve it.

Dina is looking at you in wonder and with a new sort of curiosity, like you're something different and something new but something she loves and you tangle your fingers in her brilliant dark hair and she closes her eyes and sighs and sighs and sighs against your lips.

"We'll be fine." She says.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> Also, come visit me @ love-jesus-but-i-drink-a-little.tumblr.com


End file.
